Hints for parents of children with cancer

These are based on my experience in UK hospitals - yours may be quite different:

- Don't expect anyone to use your name, you are now "Dad" or "Mum" to all medical staff. They will remember your child's name but rarely yours. This is all about the child now.
- Don't overlook the nurses. They can be a great source of advice and support.
- Don't ask for statistics about your child's chances. It doesn't really help.
- Don't let visitors bring flowers. Most wards won't allow them because of the infection risk.
- Don't cry in front of your child. Go somewhere else to do it - we all do. There's usually a room you can go to (parents room or coffee point).
- Don't let hospital be an abnormal part of your child's life. You're going to spend some time in hospital, so make it seem normal for the child. Bring toys or things from home. We have a few set toys that go everywhere with little Ctel, even in emergency ambulances.

- Do check when doctors are prescribing medicines and courses of treatment that they have considered the side effects relevant for your child (for example, oral medicines sometimes come in suspension solutions which can block a feeding tube).
- Do press to stay with your child, especially when they are first admitted or are very ill. Most hospitals will try to find somewhere for you to sleep on the ward. It won't be comfortable but at least you'll be nearby. But if your child is in intensive care, you will have to leave them. They are in good hands.
- Do use nurses' names. Most hate to be called "nurse".
- Do find out the side effects of chemotherapy or other treatment. You will need to be prepared for them and to help your child be prepared.
- Do ask doctors to explain terms you don't understand. Most will slip into jargon without realising it.
- Do find out about your local hospice. They can be great places to stay for a break when your child is out of hospital. They're not only for children at the end of their lives.